6-19-2026 7:35am

The Legend of the Crosswalk: Barbara Phipps Hangs Up Her Neon Vest

Chris Clasen Editor

Barbara Phipps (center in yellow) is thanked by community members

Some appreciative LFP Elementary parents didn't want Barbara Phipps's
last day on the (crossing guard) job to end without some recognition,
so they greeted her yesterday morning with flowers, cards, and cocoa.

After close to 20 years of dodging distracted drivers, braving
torrential downpours, and wielding a stop flag like a mythical warrior’s
shield, Barbara Phipps is officially retiring from her post as LFP’s favorite crossing guard.

For almost two decades, Barbara has been the thin white line between
local elementary schoolers and the chaotic world of morning and
afternoon traffic. While the community showers her with well-deserved
appreciation, local parents secretly wonder how they will survive
without her.

The Ultimate School Hotline

You see, Barbara wasn't just managing traffic; she was running an
elite, off-the-grid communications network. Over the years, countless
parents managed to secure Barbara’s cell phone number. She became the
ultimate safety net for the chronically forgetful.

Need to remind them that grandma is picking them up, not dad? Text Barbara.

Barbara always accepted the mission. She understood the assignment
because, years ago, she was in those exact same muddy shoes—frantically
needing to get a crucial message to her own child after they had already
walked out the school doors. Since that fateful day, she made it her
personal policy to be the human pager for panicked parents. Some parents
may miss her text-forwarding service more than her traffic-stopping.

"I'll Just Pay the Ticket!" and Other Jerks of the Road

While Barbara loves the kids, she is entirely ready to leave the
local drivers in her rearview mirror. According to Barbara, driver
etiquette has taken a bizarre nosedive over the last few years.

She’s seen it all, but her favorite new breed of commuter is the
"Entitled Speeder." She recounts multiple occasions where hurried
drivers, stopped at her crosswalk, actually rolled down their windows to
argue.

Driver: "I don't care if the traffic camera flashes me, I'll just pay the ticket!"
Barbara (Internal Monologue): Sir, this is a school zone, not a toll road for wealthy A-holes.

Thankfully, Barbara's nerves of steel and iconic glare were always
enough to keep the peace. Mayor French, if you're listening, perhaps
it's time to turn on camera enforcement 24/7 like Brookside?

The Next Chapter

Barbara will continue her role as a para-educator at LFP Elementary, but as she hands back her high-visibility vest and whistle, the
neighborhood is left with big shoes to fill and a crosswalk that will
feel a little less lively. We thank Barbara for her 20 years of
unwavering dedication, her legendary patience, and for being the only
person capable of getting an entire line of Rivan's to actually stop.

Enjoy just teaching, Barbara! May your future hold zero traffic
cameras, a less early morning alarm, and absolutely no text messages
asking you to divert a kid to grandma's.